Those of you who have known me awhile remember my quarterly newsletter via snailmail. Even though I was “busy” with life at home and my office, there always seemed time to do something that I really enjoyed doing,… writing. After we moved into our new space six years ago, that particular enjoyment began to vaporize as I spent more time outside,… walking, biking, gardening, just sitting and looking at the sky. I experienced a shift in what I was choosing to enjoy because there were new opportunities all around. Although I really missed writing, it became easier to shift because my new explorations were equally enjoyable.
Words have always been very exciting to me. They are the only way to capture a thought or feeling and then express it so another might share an individual’s experience. There have been times when I’ve attempted to express a thought in words and that doesn’t always go so well. I find myself exploring word options in order to capture the conversion from thought to verbal expression more accurately. Words, through books, have always been like guardian angels to me in they have always brought me information when I needed it most,… and they explained the mysterious in ways I could understand.
If you follow astrology, you know that the end of last year was as the beginning of new trends in how we will live, individually and collectively. Like a thunder on the horizon, many people I talked to were aware of those faint rumblings that were forecasting inner changes requiring BIG sacrifices. We were aware that we were literally standing on the threshold of an evolution of consciousness requiring us to explore new ways of thinking and being. We would be required to walk more gently on the planet thus leaving less of a footprint. We would be learning that less really is more. We would be learning that we ARE the change and what we want that to mean. We would also learn there is no substitute for a deep human(e) connection.
On an existential level, we knew the opportunity would arise to transform the experience of fear (of those changes) into the experience of activism. Fear activates the autonomic nervous system and it is from there that we live in a state of fight and flight. Here we are sure there is no way out of our present terrifying circumstances and that there is imminent threat to our survival. Living through this perception, we cannot possibly become aware of the opportunities waiting to be discovered. For each of us, these opportunities will be different and will only be visible through a new perspective.
While I did not live through WWII, my mom (who did) told stories about blackout curtains, fall out shelters and her family in Hungary living under the Russian regime. I’ve read “The Diary of Anne Frank” and Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” and was compelled to think about what life must have been like during that time. The words that keep coming up in my mind,… BUILDING RESILIENCY. Where we find ourselves today and what we are able to achieve given our present circumstances will be the harbinger of where we will find ourselves in the future. This is a time where we can learn about what it means to share, not take ourselves so seriously, and create a “new normal”. To paraphrase Joseph Campbell, we must be willing to give up the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. That thought can be terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. It can be terrifying when we believe ourselves to be forced into changes,… or it can be exhilarating when we believe ourselves to be capable of taking up a challenge, no matter the reason for its appearance in our life.
Like many people throughout the world, my life and future are uncertain. My second career of 21 years that I love has been sidelined without notice. I’m choosing to take this as an opportunity to reconfigure life as I knew it to what it might become. As with the Lymes, I’m learning the lessons this new time brings, not without meltdowns and by becoming more resilient in spite of them. I feel determined to learn new ways of what it means to be alive on this glorious planet with a mysterious interloper that makes me work harder for inner peace than I am accustomed to. The truth is, we cannot grow without experiencing the discomfort of outside forces. We learn best when we are so uncomfortable that we must seek out alternatives. This is how we evolved over the years and how we will continue to do so in the future. As a matter of evolutionary trajectory, we are compelled to rise above uncomfortable.
The other nite, I met my sister for dinner at a café still open for business. We ate dinner in our separate cars with the windows rolled up because it was raining and we talked on our cell phones. It was comforting just to see her. One day we will laugh at this memory,… right now I’m crying because to grieve the loss of what we knew is significant in the process of moving forward.
I wish you resiliency in moving forward.
evesicurellaabmp 